


Mills & Boonies

by ThatScottishShipper



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Can't Catch Me Gay Thoughts, Gay Panic, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Reading, Romance Novel, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, stupid sexy partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-08-03 13:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16327370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatScottishShipper/pseuds/ThatScottishShipper
Summary: Determined to uncover the secrets of being irresistible to the ladies, Yosuke reads racy romance novels, but gets more than he bargained for when his imagination goes into overdrive...





	1. The Million Dollar Bachelor

Praise the Hanamura Matriarch.

 

Without her, Yosuke’s whole plan to educate himself into the well-crafted art of seduction would have been a bust without her secret stash. He discovered the hidden treasure trove the time he searched high and low for Teddie after the unfortunate Hanamura Family breakfast.

Curse Teddie and his naivety about private magazines.

The enraged teenager had turned the entire house upside down looking for the bane of his existence, ready to give him a good piece of his mind, when rummaging through his mother’s closet unveiled secrets he never imagined.

Secrets not even Papa Hanamura knew about.

But Yosuke _ did _ , and he was ready to put Operation Not-So-Virtuous Mission into effect.

 

To read his way through his mother’s entire racy romance novel collection, and become an irresistible hit with the ladies.

 

Actually, the whole idea was to Kanji’s credit since he sowed the ingenious seeds into Yosuke’s head. After another failed opportunity to get a girlfriend in time for Christmas, Yosuke’s whining was a little more than the First Year student was prepared to put up with today.

To Yosuke, that was when Kanji said his most brilliant thing ever.

_ “Maybe you need to pick up what those trashy romance dudes are puttin’ down? Guy in those stories? Never get turned down.” _

Something pinged inside Yosuke’s mind, and he ran home, declaring himself to have a “golden ticket out of singledom.”

  
  


Resulting in his current predicament, with Yosuke sitting in his totally locked down and secure bedroom with three hardback books on his bed. The suggestion on those attractive covers brought a blush to Yosuke’s cheeks, though he tried to reassure himself that he was doing nothing wrong.

_ ‘C’mon, Yosuke. Mom won’t notice one or two missing from that freaking library of word porn. And besides, some nerve she has being angry at me before when she’s been hiding all this!’ _

He carefully picked one up, observing the cover with morbid curiosity. Adorned with blue roses upon its navy cover, the tall, dark and brooding doctor conveyed an almost accusing glance Yosuke’s way. One that read,  _ You’re here for naughty nurses and a good time, aren’t you, you dirty boy? _

The title read,  _ The Doctor’s Sexy Christmas Miracle. _

Yosuke gulped, a nervous laughter bubbling inside his throat. “Well, Christmas  _ is _ right around the corner…”

After deliberating on his first step towards his new life as a future boyfriend, Yosuke slowly opened the book to the first page, his heart pounding in his chest.

 

As Yosuke slowly took in the festive fairytale of a handsome doctor falling for the independent new nurse in his ward, he tried to keep mental notes on what appeared to be the most effective methods in seducing girls based on the behaviour of the lead guy.

Deep growls. Check.

Razzle dazzle with flashy eyes? Check, with a little practice.

Slow drip revelations of tragic backstory? Half a check if facing your Shadow and being unappreciated at his work was considered tragic?

With every turn of the page, Yosuke slowly found himself losing faith somewhat. The overused physical descriptions of the good doctor - with every chiseled ab and bulking bicep - served to make Yosuke feel more self-conscious about his own slender body.

_ ‘Huh. Girls really like buff guys…’ _ He raised a thin arm before sighing and reading on.

 

_ Doctor Stallion held his voluptuous nurse close to his muscled chest, a deep growl rumbling from his throat. The raven-haired nurse’s laughter rang like a soft bell- _

 

Yosuke snapped out of his story. No way. The only black-haired beauty he knew of had a laugh that was anything but soft. Nurse Fairweather in his story became Yukiko Amagi, along with that gigglesnort of a laugh that threw him out the immersion of this medical drama.

_ 'Oooookay. Let’s try the next one. Different story, different ideas, right?' _

  
  


Unfortunately, the second book,  _ The Duke’s Baby Blessing _ , fared no better. As Yosuke got sucked into the story of the racy regency tale, the dainty duchess with an unnaturally short bob reminded him of Chie Satonaka and it all went downhill from there.

_ The dashing Duke sat with the coy duchess, his smouldering gaze undressing her from across the table. He leaned closer, his warm breath ghosting against her ear. “Might I be so bold, my lady, to say you are positively ravishing this morning.” _

Yosuke felt his own ears grown red, as he continued.

_ The Duchess smiled sweetly, lowering her cup of tea. “Duke Hardcastle, the only thing I want to ravish is juicy meat. Got any beef skewers?” _

No. Just no. Chie was cute and all, but she was hardly the shy, unassuming shrinking violet who would tolerate any of this aggressive form of flirting coming her way. And being as cocky and confident as the Duke in the story, to the point of disrespect towards the other person, felt…  _ off. _

He flicked through and dared one last paragraph.

_ Duchess Emeraldina touched the swell beneath her lime green frock, her fluttering eyes burning with desire. _ More like anger.  _ She took a step forward, her dress swishing in the sunlight pouring into the bedroom. _

_ “My Duke, I… _

_ I’m carrying your kid, you jerk!” Followed by a roundhouse kick that punted the good old Richard into the stratosphere. _

 

_ Yep. Total lost cause _ , Yosuke thought, tossing the book onto the bed with a resigned sigh.

What was happening to him? Yosuke’s every attempt to imagine these seductive methods working on other girls he knew fell short. Naoto was too clever and level-headed to fall for stuff this basic, and Rise’s own brand of wiles would likely see through his entire plan. He also began to ponder if he were capable of being the sort of guy to charm the ladies, like Trashy Romance Novel Guy. Yosuke felt like he was hardly a looker, or particularly suave or smart, so maybe he was out of his depth here?

He sighed, collapsing onto the bed in frustration. ‘ _What if I really am no good here? What if I have nothing to give? This sucks! Why don’t I feel confident about this?_ _Maybe this whole thing was stupid!_ ’

 

Before giving up completely, Yosuke dared a glance at the last book, beckoning to him from the edge of the bed. With a grunt, he sat back up and reached out to the novel, noting the attractive, older man on the cover and the blurb on the back, promising a rich and mature experience.

_ The Million Dollar Bachelor _ was his last hope. Every last attempt to woo the ladies had failed miserably and he felt his resolve waver. As the deadline to Christmas grew shorter, Yosuke knew the success of his plan was swiftly fading and his determination to find himself a girlfriend went with it.

‘ _ An older guy _ ,’ Yosuke thought, dismissive at first, then the eureka moment struck and he broke out into a victorious grin.  _ ‘That’s it! I’ve been reading this all wrong! Girls like mature guys, right? This might be what I need! I need to project this type of guy!’ _

As he turned to the very first page and carefully made his way through the exotic romance tale, Yosuke found his attention wavering, his fantasy coming in to play. The whirlwind romance of the older man, Daemon, and his beautiful beau, Merida, took on a whole new meaning.

By the time he reached the third chapter, he was admittedly quite absorbed in the racy romance of two lovers. Although admittedly a bit cliched, the titular Bachelor was a likeable guy, someone with admirable friendship qualities than unrealistic seduction ones, and Yosuke felt - with a little polish - he could be this guy.

A respected, mature heart throb.

_ A smart, funny and all around good guy. Dude, how is this guy still single? _

At the fifth chapter mark, Yosuke was completely invested, forgetting how much time passed. It felt as though he was actually there, in the tropical island with the clearest blue water and the most breathtaking sunsets. Yosuke saw himself at the beach, cast in the orange glow of the setting sun as the smitten sweethearts lost themselves in each other’s eyes.

 

_ The silver-haired beauty shot her a pearled smile, those warmed eyes twinkling only for her. She twirled strand of her curled auburn hair between her long fingers, unable to tear her heated eyes away from the mysterious man drifting ever closer. _

_ Sunlight caressed those handsome features, awakening his inner glow, a part of him that only came to life for his local beauty. And as the dreamy casanova took his captivating princess in his arms, their lips dancing dangerously close, she whispered his name. _

_ “...Partner…” _

 

Yosuke dropped the book like it was on fire, his own face burning. The fantasy came to a crashing halt, as reality caught up with him.

He imagined himself and Yu.

His best friend.

His  _ male _ best friend.

His  _ male _ best friend who he _ totally _ doesn’t have a crush on because he’s _ totally straight _ .

 

The startled teenager glared at  _ The Million Dollar Bachelor _ , absolutely mortified as he saw not the smoking bachelor, Daemon, surrounded by purple roses, but Yu Narukami and  _ his thoughtful gaze, like soft grey orbs, penetrating deeply into Yosuke’s - _ .

A screech of pterodactyl proportions erupted from his throat, as he kicked the bedsheets - and the offending literature - away. Abject horror seized him, as his mind went into overtime.

_ ‘This doesn’t make any sense! Why did I think of me and Yu? I’m not into guys! And why was I the girl???’ _

Yosuke muttered away to himself, clambering over his messed up bed to swiftly retrieve the three books that had taken up his entire evening before hastily throwing them under his bed, as if it somehow erased the reality of what had just happened.

“This can’t be happening, this seriously can’t be happening, it’s just a mistake, an accident, yeah, that’s it, he just reminded me of Yu, that’s all, ‘cause they’re both mature and stuff, yeah, that’s it -”

Heart pounding inside his chest  _ at the thought of that soft, inviting mouth upon his _ \- “Oh, God!” - Yosuke scrambled underneath the bed sheets, trying to shut the world, and his own intrusive thoughts, out of his head.

 

What sort of Pandora’s Box had that secret within the closet unleashed?


	2. A Partnership of Inconvenience (or A Marriage of Convenience)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a series of trashy romance novels, Yosuke can't stop thinking about Yu like that.
> 
> But it's not his fault, right? And what happens when the rose-tinted love spectacles keep affecting his daily life?

Curse the Hanamura Matriarch.

Without her, Yosuke’s entire night would have been all pleasant dreams, full of cute girls and unadulterated wish fulfillment. All he wanted was a girlfriend before Christmas, a sweetheart he could shower all his attention and love onto, and who would do the same in return.

His only reward for his most recent adventure was a troubled night, almost devoid of sleep and when he did finally nod off?

Yu Narukami was waiting for him.

 

_ ‘Yosuke,’ the mysterious transfer student called to him, his soft voice laced with suggestion. Come to me.’ _

_ ‘P-Partner,’ Yosuke stammered, unable to accept the reality of this situation. He took a step back only for his back to touch the wall. ‘I can’t. You know I’m not like that. I’m not -' _

_ The teenager’s feeble protests were silenced by the other boy’s finger on his lips, causing his heart to skip a beat. The entire world around them stilled, his classmate’s lips drawing ever closer as the finger left only for his hand to touch Yosuke’s cheek. _

_ ‘Yosuke, it’s alright,’ Yu whispered, lips tantalisingly close to seeking their mark. ‘I’ll be gentle…’ _

  
And that is when Yosuke snapped awake, panting harshly and cursing the keeper of those erotic tomes, and himself for giving in to the temptation to read them.   
  


  
If anyone else was to blame for this frustrating fiasco, it was Kanji Tatsumi for planting the totally not straight seeds into his overactive imagination. He should never have listened to him, just told him to ‘ _ get real _ ’ and just focus on another way to find a girlfriend for the end of the year.

But no. In his desperation, Yosuke listened, took the suggestion seriously and this was the fallout of heeding that stupid advice. Getting flustered and fantasising about his best friend, another guy.

Yu Narukami, the hunky transfer student.

Or sometimes, the heart-pounding doctor.

Perhaps the Prince of an Exotic Land.

God. Dammit.

 

  
The next day was absolute Hell for the Prince of Junes, unable to tear his eyes away from that the back of Yu Narukami’s hair,  _ glistening like starlight _ in the reflection of the classroom window,  _ the faint of exposure of his slender neck from behind his collar - _

Yosuke wasted three pencils that lesson, thoroughly distracted by his own fantastical mind.   


His entire panic was made even worse when Miss Kashiwagi departed momentarily to respond to a teacher’s call, and his best friend turned around in his chair,  _ those smouldering charcoal eyes undressing him with slow deliberation _ .

May Susanoo have sweet mercy on him.

 

“Here,” Yu stated in  _ that criminally smooth voice,  _ holding out a spare pencil. “You can borrow one of mine.”

Unable to form words without turning into a whimpering, incoherent mess, Yosuke simply took it, mouthing his thanks at the very least. That is when Yu Narukami did the worst thing he possibly could have at that moment.

He smiled.

Yosuke practically melted in his chair,  _ overwhelmed by a blanket of warmth rivalled only by the sun enveloping him _ and he knew that he was well and truly doomed.

Suddenly, a private intimacy settled between them, like the entire world no longer existed. Flushed and thoroughly speechless, Yosuke lost himself in those  _ dreamy grey eyes _ , struggling to back away from this frighteningly curious exchange.

Yu returned the gaze with an curious expression, which unsettled Yosuke even more.  _ ‘Oh boy. Am I the only one stuck with this weird brain? This SUCKS. It’s not normal! If he finds out, if Yu finds out… _

_ But…’  _ Drawn to Yu’s mouth as he began to talk, Yosuke commented on  _ how soft the other boy’s lips looked, shimmering in the sunlight cast from the illuminated window, and- _

  
  


“OH, GOD!”

The entire classroom went absolutely silent, every head turned towards the screams coming from the startled teenager. Even Yu stared at Yosuke, a touch of concern in his eyes.

Before the expected laughter could ripple across the students, Yosuke burst onto his feet, practically knocking his chair away from the force, trying to avoid any sort of eye contact with anyone, least of all his Partner.

_ And those dreamy, sensual orbs - _

His voice once more erupted into a shriek as he fled the classroom, desperately trying to mask his panic with an excuse.

“Nurses! Feeling sick! Tell Teach!”

Leaving a perplexed Yu, a bewildered Chie and confused Yukiko sharing looks with one another.

  
  


xxx

  
  


_ ‘This can’t be happening, this totally can’t be happening _ .’

Splashing his flushed face over and over again in the boy’s bathroom, Yosuke fought to get his erratic heartbeat under control, and his overactive imagination that kept threatening to spill into the real world.

Ever since he touched those books, the filter between his fantasies and waking life had become damaged, causing him infinite levels of embarrassment and actual  _ pain _ .

As he stared into his self in the mirror, glistening with droplets of water and sweat, he kept envisioning a part of himself that he did not want to admit. Because this was completely and 100% not his fault.

 

_ ‘It was the porn. _

_ The porn did this. _

_ Put these ideas in my fragile, little mind. _

_ Not me. No way. _

_ I’m not like that…’ _

 

In a frighteningly fleeting moment, Yosuke saw a flicker of golden malice in his reflected gaze and he jerked back with a scream. And then it hit him like a thunder strike from Izanagi himself.

_ ‘Oh, God. The TV World.’ _

That realm of existence, conjured by the thoughts of a collective world, lurking inside the televisions within the sleepy town of Inaba. Since Yu came to town, they discovered a whole world inside the TV, a realm of secrets they could enter and literally face the worst parts of themselves.

Yosuke was the first and he never forgot the hot shame of having his Shadow Self exposed before the perfection of his best friend. That his boredom, his apathy of being stuck in the boonies, took an exaggerated form of his own bitterness and irritation.

Yu saw it all.

The very thought of returning to that torment freaked out Yosuke, who shook his head pathetically, trying to deny that possibility.

_ ‘No, there’s no way It could come back, right? Not over something so stupid, right? _

_ Right???’ _

His own frightened expression bounced back from the mirror, giving him little reassurance.

 

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Yosuke prayed it was someone, anyone else but the cause of his current predicament.

No such luck.

“Yosuke,” Yu said, _ his voice melting like the sweetest honey in Yosuke’s ears _ . The worry in his eyes only intensified, as Yosuke clamped the palms of his hands over his ears, trying to drown his personal audio ero-book out of his head.

_ ‘Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!’  _ Yosuke repeated over and over again in his thoughts, desperate to get some sweet relief. _ ‘Why can’t I turn it off?’ _

“Turn what off?”

_ Crap! _ The question surprised Yosuke, who realised he must have let the words slip. His hands then reached out to clench the sink, still avoiding that painfully kind gaze from his best friend.

His totally guy friend, who he shouldn’t be thinking about like this.

“N-Nothing,” Yosuke blurted out, between nervous peels of laughter. “Just… wish this sickness would go away, y’know? Must’ve been something I ate, or something.”

The nervous laugh died away, along with any chance of convincing Yu, who merely cocked his head to the side.

“I won’t pry, but you know if something’s on your mind, you can tell me,” the other teenager said softly, trying to appeal to Yosuke’s desire for release from his problems. “I only say because I  _ really, really like you, Yosuke. I have for some time, and I want to show you just how much I want you.” _

The startled teenager spun around, spluttering indignantly. “H-H-Huh?”

_ “I said I love you, Partner.” The seductive student swayed forward, placing a possessive hand upon his claim’s shoulder. The coolness of the bathroom did little to combat the feverish Yosuke’s heart and soul- _

 

“No!”

Yosuke’s scream echoes against the walls of the toilets, fracturing the reality he desperately tried to escape from. The sparkling bloom of roses and petals colouring his vision faded and what greeted him from his awakening was a hurt expression from Yu, and Yosuke panicked.

Did Yu know? Had Yosuke messed up somehow, trapped between mind and matter?

His fears only grew stronger when his Partner took his hand away, that pained gaze lingering on the floor. The sadness in Yu’s voice was an additional critical hit to his guilt gland.

“I’m sorry, Yosuke… I…”

Biting his lip, Yosuke cursed himself for causing this hurt. As frustrating as his own mind was being right now, there was no need to take it out on his best friend.

“No, Partner,  _ I’m _ the one who should be sorry.” Yosuke finally met Yu, disgusted at himself for hurting him. “I’ve… had some stuff going on right now at home and it’s all gotten a little crazy, but… It’s not you, Partner. It’s me.”

Yu returned his gaze to Yosuke, curious as to what was upsetting him this much. His friend had confided in him about personal matters before and assumed this time would be no different.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here,” Yu expressed, wanting nothing more than to be a pillar of strength for him.

Alas, Yosuke shook his head, managing a small, awkward smile. “Thanks, man, but I’ve got this. It’s just… stupid stuff. Nothing to worry about. I feel kinda silly for blowing up like that, but… I’ll fine.”

 

_ I have to be fine. I need to get this under control _ .

_ Without hurting Yu. _

 

Though not entirely convinced, Yu settled things with a nod. “Only if you’re sure, Yosuke.”

_ ‘Again with that voice!’  _ Yosuke whined mentally.  _ ‘Maybe this won’t be easy as I thought. Not when he says my name like that!’ _

“Of course I’m sure,” Yosuke insisted, that anxious laugh betraying any confidence he tried to project. “You know how it it is, Partner. All school and work, but no play? After a good night’s sleep, I’ll be a new man.”

 

_ ‘That is, if I’m not visited by the Trashy Romance Partner again. _

_ Then again, maybe trashy isn’t the right word for Yu. He’s pretty suave and kinda… _

_ … _

_ Goddammit!’ _

 

Oblivious to Yosuke’s mental meltdown, Yu simply left the strange matter at that, returning a small smile of his own that only exasperated his friend’s inner anguish.

Because how could such a simple smile make Yosuke’s stomach do backflips like that?

“Alright,” Yu said after an eternity, heading towards the bathroom door. “Though don’t turn in too early tonight.”

His relief was short lived and Yosuke snapped out of his belly aerobics from that cryptic statement. “What?”

And with a cryptic turn of the head, revealing an almost eerie stare, Yu dropped the bombshell.

 

“It’s raining tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm so sorry the second chapter took so long to share. Between work and my health, composing a followup chapter was quite difficult, so I hope you enjoy reading this.
> 
> As the summary explains, the rose-tinted love spectacles are firmly in place for Yosuke and he struggles to differentiate between reality and his fantasies whenever Yu is in the room. I also wanted to add a little drama with Yosuke freaking out about the possible return of his Shadow (but is it just all in his head) and Yu suspecting something is wrong and wanting to help him out.
> 
> And then the cliffhanger. Poor Yosuke. Don't worry, I have a silly plan in mind for this poor lad in denial.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it. <3


	3. Romance On The Ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in the classroom, Yosuke cannot escape the fantasies revolving around Yu. Pressured by the TV World deadline and his own Shadow's cruel taunting, Yosuke does the unthinkable to escape it...

_ It's raining tonight. _

 

By the time he returned to his desk, Yosuke still felt every hair standing on end, those haunting words stuck in his head on loop. It made him sick to his stomach, like an anxiety bath bomb went off in it.

Tonight of all nights, scheduled to rain. What had he done to deserve this unholy misfortune? There was no skirting around this situation, and what it meant for him.

Rain meant the Midnight Channel.

And the Midnight Channel meant  _ bad news _ for Yosuke.

 

Nothing from Geography class sank into Yosuke’s brain, only one place took precedence - The TV World. In the past, the prospect of diving back into the mysterious world within Inaba’s televisions might have been a thrilling one.

Busting bad guys, and saving the town? What wasn’t to love?

But that dizzying excitement fizzled out into a thick, nauseating ooze in the pit of his stomach. He knew that for all the boredom busting investigating small town murders delivered, the Midnight Channel was something truly harrowing.

The Midnight Channel, Yosuke remembered, was a nightmarish melting pot of judgement, and shame, like a tacky neon sign practically broadcasting the personal demons in one’s closet. He had already faced himself once. The thought of facing himself again, over something like  _ this _ , terrified the  _ hell _ out of him.

_ No. _ No way was Yosuke enduring that embarrassing ordeal again.

 

Tapping his fingers nervously on his desk, Yosuke glanced over at his friends, Chie and Yukiko, then at the  _ Adonis of his current heart pounding predicament, _ Yu. If his Shadow returned tonight, there was no telling what form it would take, but one thing was for sure.

Shadow Yosuke was coming out, along with the not-so-straight steamy fantasies he had been hiding.

Shadows left nothing to the imagine, a manifestation of one’s own secrets, and Yosuke was completely exposed in front of everyone if jerkass Yosuke came back. Long story short, the ultimate social mood killer.

 

He screwed his eyes shut, nipping his lip. As if having his dirty laundry aired in front of everyone that tuned in wasn’t bad enough, a Shadow being present meant a Persona, the physical proof of accepting oneself, ceased to exist.

Jiraiya, evolved into Susanoo, was his golden ticket to serving a purpose, fitting in with a group of friends, and he was one step closer to losing everything. His place in the Investigation Team, his friends…

...Yu.

 

No matter how much Yosuke told himself that stupid, insignificant, totally irrelevant thoughts meant nothing, he knew better. His Shadow was born of boredom, bitterness, and self loathing, so there was no doubt in Yosuke's mind that his dark self wouldn't itch for a chance to come back.

_ ‘Please tell me this isn't happening, _ ’ Yosuke lamented, tormented into knots.  _ ‘There's no way. Shadows can't come back a second time… can they?’ _

On cue, a distorted reflection of his own voice answered, cackling malevolently.  _ ‘Oh, you sure about that, Maidenmura?’ _

Catching himself in the mirror of the window, Yosuke saw  _ him _ , that cruel grin and pair of lethal golden eyes awaiting the freaked out teenager.

‘ _ Hey, there, Hana-chan _ .’ Yosuke flinched.  _ ‘Always did protest a teensy bit too much about the no-homo thing, huh? _ ’

 

A horrible silence followed, but Yosuke knew the other him was still there. He turned his attention back to the blackboard, at Mr Yamada and his stupid remarks about girls that normally would have gotten any other self respecting teacher fired, but that spine chilling voice stayed.

_ ‘You know, once that school bell rings? And the clock strikes midnight?’ _ For villainous effect, the Shadow injected his menacing laughter. ‘ _ Everyone will know who - or should I say - what you are. Princess Nohomomura will be leaving behind more than just a glass slipper.’ _

Clamping his hands over his ears, Yosuke tried to drown the hate out to no avail. Determined to get a parting shot, the Shadow evaporated with one last twist of the verbal knife.

_ ‘How cute. You think your buds will stick around once they realise what you are? C’mon. Stop pretending.’ _

 

And just like that, Yosuke's mind went quiet, his hands falling to the desk.

_ Stop pretending. _

Yosuke bit his lip, nearly drawing blood. The Shadow’s words had hit their mark, leaving him terrified.

After moving to Inaba and being the subject of public scorn and mockery, Yosuke was hours away from losing  _ everything _ again.

 

Breath catching in his throat, Yosuke became obsessed with the clock, ticking ever closer to the end of the day. Towards the Investigation Meet, towards diving into the TV World, and towards his social execution hour at day’s end.

‘ _ I'm doomed, I'm seriously doomed _ .’ Another look at the window revealed his own regular reflection, but the panicked aftermath still remained.  _ ‘I'll be on the Midnight Channel, unless I do something!’ _

He clenched his fist, resolute.

That was when Yosuke came up with his first ridiculous plan of the day. If Yosuke wanted to spare a second Shadow outing, he had until Midnight…

 

xxx

 

Last class of the day, and Yosuke Hanamura did what any smart boy in his life-or-death situation would do.

He fantasised. He fantasised  _ hard. _

Because it's not exactly denying a part of himself if he obsesses over his guy friend to keep the Shadows away, right?

Of course, that's how it worked.

 

In one frantic afternoon, Yosuke sought sanctuary in a tropical paradise, an aristocratic mansion, and even an idyllic ranch in the countryside. Anywhere but Queen Tut’s boring as hell History lesson.

He had to focus. He had to think, think _ , think. _

 

_ Flawless silver bowl cut, deep smouldering eyes, and a sultry whisper that sent shivers straight to his dainty, helpless knees quivering _ beneath the desk. The wooden floorboards under foot  _ melted into silica dust, glistening among the coarse sandy ground, catching the scorching sun and its sweltering heat deeply into his skin. _

_ But nothing burned hotter than his own heart, yearning for the childhood friend on horseback, strutting his way. _

Resisting the urge to face plant directly onto the desk before him, Yosuke darted his suspicious eyes around, then returned to the sight of  _ a silver-haired cowboy, tilting his hat upward, a devilish smile gracing his soft lips. _

_ “Howdy, Partner,” Yu said, deadpan as always. _

His heart stuttered, his stomach a pit of shrieking butterflies.

 

Convinced wholeheartedly, Yosuke did his to keep his Shadow at bay. It only counted as denial if he fought against the inconvenient daydreams of Deputy Narukami upon a mighty steed, right?

Then, in absolute wish fulfilment, Yosuke was  _ whisked away from his villainous evil twin, on horseback towards a melting sunset, his slender arms holding onto the dashing Deputy, his saviour, his hero. _

His absolute everything.

 

However, with every tick of the clock, Yosuke panicked. The heart pounding, fluttering anxiety of each second reminded him too much of the wait before the Midnight Channel crackled to life. He tried to keep thoroughly fixated on his _ damn fine _ fantasies (that absolutely no right to be as  _ damn fine  _ as they were,) but time was running out.

Once school finished for the day, Yosuke was supposed to meet with the others at Junes, and check out the TV World for a few hours. That meant facing the very possible, very likely, very nightmares for life inducing possibility that the TV World might react to him.

He might get his Shadow returning.

He might lose his Persona.

And he might get a Dungeon that left little to the imagination as Kanji’s had.

 

Who knew what revealing form his Shadow might take? If Rise’s Shadow was any indication, Shadows could take many forms simultaneously. He could see the cosplay conga line now, formed by Shadow Yosukes in everything from naughty nurse to schoolgirl uniform.

The thought of Yosuke seeing himself as the blushing maiden many times over caused his brain to screech into a deafening free fall, like a faulty firework.

There was no other choice. Yosuke had to do this, had to buy himself time.

Five minutes before school ended was when Yosuke, in all his hysterical glory, committed to his second desperate phase of Operation Shadow Nope.

 

As Ms Sofue proudly concluded her rousing speech on the River Nile of Egypt, complementing its length, Yosuke saw an opportunity. She smiled, gushing with enthusiasm over the culture she found so interesting, whether the class shared it or not.

“And believe me when I say photographs of this absolute beauty do not do justice to the size of the Nile,” Ms Sofue praised, sighing with reverence. “Make no mistake, class. It’s big.”

And without missing a beat, Yosuke forced out short, hard bursts of laughter.

 

The aftermath was  _ excruciating _ .

Everyone turned to stare at the culprit, especially the highly insulted Ms Sofue, glaring at the offending youth in her presence. If her hardened expression was anything to go by, Yosuke knew that he had succeeded.

Making light of the Queen Tut’s passion was a quick fire way to earn detention.

After the sharp ring of the school bell, Ms Sofue finally addressed her pupil, a tight smile touching her red lips. “Well then, perhaps you can stay on after class, and enlighten me as to what you find so humorous?”

 

For the first time, Yosuke was relieved, knowing he bought himself time. He did not dare meet his friend’s eyes, knowing that Chie and Yukiko were surely gawking in disbelief, wondering why he had been so foolish.

But Yu,  _ spellbinding and wholefully perfect Yu, _ did not move. He remained still, betraying no signs of having been disturbed by the situation.

‘ _ Damn, he’s probably disappointed in me. I am his Partner, and I’m letting him down.’ _ As the students began to pour out of the classroom, Yosuke let out a huge sigh, reclining back into his chair. ‘ _ But I’ll let him down more if he finds out about… this. I’ll lose Susanoo, I’ll lose our friendship, and everything. _ ’

Yosuke closed his eyes. ‘ _ I just need a little more time, to sort myself out. I can’t let my Shadow return. I just can’t.’ _

 

When the fair-haired student cracked open his eyes, Yosuke realised that his best friend was no longer in his seat, but by the teacher’s desk, talking with her. The gesturing, the short glances his way, all confirmed one thing, knowing his Partner.

Yu was trying to remedy Yosuke's self-inflicted predicament, throwing his entire plan down the toilet.

‘ _ No way _ .’ Yosuke went white as a sheet, watching helplessly as the situation spiralled beyond his control.  _ ‘Don’t do this to me, Yu.’ _

Then Yu turned towards Yosuke,  _ an intimate connection passing between them, only that brooding bad boy’s magnetism drawing his attention. Butterflies in his stomach, cheeks flushed with warmth, and his heart pounding in giddy anticipation. _

_ When this tantalising stranger made his way towards him, the world ceased to be. Shifting into an otherworldly fantasy, Yosuke was mesmerised by the intimidating aura, of promise and suggestion gifted to him. _

_ A step closer, and that seductive sigh twisted his stomach in knots. _

_ Those irresistible lips parted, and heat bloomed inside him. _

_ He shouldn't have savoured this forbidden fruit, but for every part of him that screamed to reject it, an overpowering part of him ached to accept it. _

_ And then he - _

 

“Yosuke.”

“Huh?”

 

In a snap, Yosuke returned to reality, with Yu standing by him, curiosity radiating in his dark eyes.

Yosuke knew the bomb was about to be dropped, and his respite was about to be blown to pieces. His hopes at getting to the end of the day unscathed dashed by the painful reassurance in his best friend’s tender eyes.

_ Those gentle, comforting onyx orbs that glistening, and _ oh how hard had Yosuke fallen for the perfection that was Yu Narukami.

He gulped, awaiting the final blow.

 

“Good news, Yosuke,” Yu said, obliterating his Partner’s hope with tormenting kindness. “You're free. The meet’s still on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho boy, this was a long gap between chapters. I'm sorry, I didn't meant for it to be this long, but I was dragged towards other ideas. Thanks to playing Persona Q2, my heart returned to this silly story, and I just had to continue. Anyone else playing it? Love returning to the Shadow busting dorks. <3
> 
> Poor Yosuke. Shadows are such an interesting part of the Persona universe that allows us to delve into character psycho dramas, and Yosuke felt like he had the potential to face his Shadow more than once. He's just full of insecurities and self-esteem issues, and when you through confusion over attraction into the mix, Yosuke would be terrified.
> 
> I wanted to balance the comedy with the drama in this chapter, so I hope it was a good blend given Yosuke's fears.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Funny thing. When I'm not writing fanfiction, I work as a library assistant and this silly little idea came to mind when I was rearranging the Mills & Boons section. I thought to myself, what if Yosuke wanted to read romance stories as a way of learning how to attract girls, but things take an unexpected turn half way through?
> 
> That Wham Line. Wow.
> 
> It also gave me a chance to incorporate self-conscious Yosuke into the story as well, as his moral lowers from the description of the sort of guys one expects in these stories. I've only read one M&B book to date, so most of my descriptions, title names and book extracts are my own personal exaggerations of these kinds of stories. For the humour more than anything.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. Definitely working on chapter 2 because I'm not finished with Yosuke yet. <3


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